Say What You Need to Say

Sometimes, we are just not all that invested. Sometimes, we don’t really care that deeply about the issue at hand, so avoiding our real stance on a subject is just easier– more convenient.

John Mayer proclaims nearly 30 times, “Say what you need to say” in his song by the same name. Ironic? I think not.

All too often, we avoid saying what needs to be said. We tiptoe around the truth or the hard truth with mere suggestions of what we are really wanting to say. We “suggest” our intent by veiling it with “perhaps…” or “maybe…” 

But– do we feel strongly? All we need to do is spend ten minutes on Twitter or Facebook to know that we are a people who feel. Unfortunately, it is all too simple to post strong feelings or attitudes without the backbone of a face-to-face confrontation.

Sometimes, we are just not all that invested to speak up for how we feel in the workplace. Sometimes, we don’t really care that deeply about the issue at hand, so avoiding our real stance on a subject is just easier– more convenient.

Recently, I saw a post on LinkedIn entitled, When Your Most Motivated Employees Become Silent! by Graham Thompson. I was immediately overwhelmed at the very concept. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” I proclaimed as I read these words, “the origin of the lack of passion so often lies in leadership inappropriateness, neglect or selfishness.”

Have I created an atmosphere in the workplace where my coworkers feel comfortable to speak the truth? Have I created a safe place?

We have always tried to maintain a high-performing ensemble of teammates who are welcome, even encouraged to voice their differing opinions, knowing full well that dissent and criticism is often a crucial element of the creative process. It’s not for everyone. And the moment it becomes personal or petty is the moment the process grinds to a halt.

Every opinion matters. Yes. Indeed– or you wouldn’t have a seat the table. However, every opinion does not and cannot carry the same weight. The key challenge is discerning who is owning the project. And who is ultimately responsible for that project’s success.

HERE’S WHAT HELPS:

CLEAR EXPECTATIONS

I will often begin a group session with something like, “Hey- a lot of these decisions have already been made, but I would love to get you take on where we are, and see if you have any suggestions for improvement.” That is different than, “What do you think?” If you aren’t prepared for, “I hate it”- you shouldn’t even ask.

CLEAR BOUNDARIES

Sometimes, it is important to remind your team of the Rules of Play. “This is John’s project, and he’s done a lot of work. Let’s discuss how he can take it to the next level” or “Folks, we are on a strict deadline. Only constructive, easy fixes at this point”.

CLEAR RESULTS

Here’s where we often fail. Celebrate the success of your team, and your team’s work. I fail at this all the time, because I am so in love with the process. I absolutely take great pride and reward in the teamwork of a project, and I seldom remember that the rest of the team may find their reward in celebrating the win of the project once it is completed.